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Wednesday, December 10, 2008

life

I've written like 2 blogs this week but haven't felt like any of them are worth posting. Right now I feel pretty bummed because Mark told me today that his trip is probably getting extended. Not sure how long but sounded like they would practically need a miracle tomorrow and even then wouldn't come home until Saturday.

Everything I write seems so dramatic and silly. But I will say that life without Mark just feels so far off that I struggle. It's hard to do normal daily life without him around and if that's dramatic and silly, then I'm happy to admit that I'm that way.

There are things happening in my life but it seems to take all I have in a day to look at God and plow through. So I'll try and update more when my better half comes back and I can feel whole enough to look past this current solo status.

I remember my mom once telling me that in marriage you can feel more complete but you can also feel more lonely. Although my husband is returning and our marriage is wonderful, having him away makes me feel more lonely than before (not to discount those of you who live every day that way... I'm just saying, this is how I feel in the moment). It's like getting a glimpse of how great it can be and then having it taken away. But fortunate for me the taken away part is only temporary and I'm trying to keep focused on the light at the end of the tunnel!

3 thoughts from other people:

Melinda said...

Your love and craving to have Mark by your side is part of the beauty of marriage. When you are apart, you do not feel at your best. You are lonely for each other. You are distracted. Moody.
If the church is the bride of Christ, think how similarly He must yearn for us to be spending more time with Him, when we are not 'with Him' in our hearts and presence. That is one of the many nuances of my relationship with Christ and the Father, that I have learned through being married. Your hunger for Mark allows you to experience a bit of that same longing. Passionate, loyal, nurturing and strong, isn't it?

Molly said...

Carrie, I'm so sorry to hear Mark's trip is getting extended. Bummer!

Christina Groth said...

Praying for you as you await your husband's return!