1 down, 11 to go

I have 1 day of Mark being away down and 11 more to go! So far so good. I almost started crying when I left him a voicemail (that of course he won't get until he's home, but gives me a verbal outlet for the things I'm feeling) last night on the way home while chowing on a package of Cracker Jacks I picked up at the gas station when filling up the Mustang. The cracker jacks were a mistake, I'll be the first to admit that.

As I pulled off our exit, trying to warm my cold hands, I remembered something Mark had said on the way to the airport yesterday. He was holding my hands, trying to warm them up (a regular occurence), and said, "what will you do without your delux gloves that you can talk to, curl up to in bed with, and who takes care of you?" We have a joke about how he's my swiss army knife of hand warmers because he can do all those other things as well as warm my hands and cold toes at night ;) The memory made me smile.

Being home without him wasn't as bad as I feared, which was nice. Not that it was good or that I enjoyed any part of being alone, but it could have been a lot worse. I think you get used to being alone with your own thoughts. Normally I have a way of sharing them, but alone isn't the end of the world. Again, I have no idea how you single peeps do it!!! I think God gives single people extra grace. To not have your own person to go through life with and process things with and share things with is/was hard. But I never lived alone. I think that takes an extra measure of courage. It's hard to not have a designated person that is yours for the journey. I admire those of you walking it alone. Most of the time it's not by choice so to do it, do it well, and not loose heart in the process is pretty cool. It's definitely harder, although without some of the relational drama. So WAY TO GO all you God-loving single people!!! I admire you. And am thankful I only have to live it temporarily.