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Monday, December 29, 2008

Floating Vacation Day Thoughts

- I have been sitting on my brothers couch for over an hour doing re-entry stuff... bank account updating, personal email, work email, etc.

- I hate re-entry stuff, even when done while still on vacation (although I think in the end it will make the actual re-entry from vacation easier).

- I wish I could post a pic, because where I'm sitting is pretty cool! My bro has a 120 inch "screen" (actually a projector on a wall) which he and Mark are using to play Need 4 Speed Undercover with the racing steering wheel setup. It pretty much feels like you are driving in real life. We are all on couches with the mini-bar, mini-fridge, mini-microwave within reach. We've already used the "I DO Movie Room" (it's named after the pics of the "I DO BREW" label that was on the special beer my uncle made them for their wedding rehearsal dinner) for about 3 movie showings since we've been here. Last night the movie showing was WANTED on blu-ray. Pretty sweet!!!

- I was trying to determine if I could afford to go snowboarding with Mark and everyone tomorrow but after realizing I'll have a $200+ bill for school books when I get back and still need to DEQ and license our vehicles, clinches my decision... no. In a couple weeks I will forget I missed out on anything anyway.

- Speaking of cars (in the plural sense), did I mention my parent's are giving us their minivan? MAJOR BLESSING!!! See, they want us to have a place for grandkids (whenever that time comes) and we can't afford to get another/different vehicle. We are driving it home from MT and are VERY excited to have a vehicle that will hold people and stuff!!

- Did I mention I'm taking classes next semester? I start on the 5th. Scary!!! That is how I am choosing to spend my extra time and hope I can make enough $$ from concerts and side projects to cover the expenses. I'm really thankful that Janet and my job at Sunset Pres is flexible enough to let me adjust my hours to accommodate the new schedule.

- Today was our vacation transition day. The rest of the visiting family left yesterday and Mark and I are moving over to JR & Molly's place from my parents. We wanted to spread the love. We are still over at Mom & Dad's for meals and stuff though. It's fun to have extra time to hang and all that.

- Mark bought me the book Twilight for Christmas (I had heard it was good) and am over half way and LOVING it!!! Which is weird since I hate vampires. It's been hard to put it down and be social. I'm trying to pace myself.

- I'm excited and nervous to go home because in addition to feeling like December was a weird month with Mark being gone, so many snow days, and being on vacation for 2 weeks, I start school. I didn't decide to start school until mid way through December so haven't had much time to process. Can I do it??? Oh, and we'll have another car... which totally changes our life dynamic. So in other words, we will be creating a new normal and life as we've known it is completely different.

- I enjoyed driving around a little on the snowy roads since I've been here. After our time in OR I was glad to find out I still had good snow legs. Mark too. Although the snow has now mostly melted off the roads.

- The guys are buying more cars now that they passed another level in the game and all this talk of reading makes me want to put the computer down and grab my book for a few minutes before we head to the parent's place for dinner.

Happy New Year!!!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Our Snowy Adventure #2

We are supposed to be driving with my aunt and uncle and their 2 kids, to Montana tomorrow night. Up until today things were looking okay.


This morning my uncle called me and said that the Gorge route is closed and is supposed to be possibly as late as Wednesday... that doesn't fit in with our plans since that is the route we need to go. 

Jerry & Andrea (my uncle and aunt) don't have as much time as we do for the trip so leaving a lot later isn't entirely an option for them. We on the other hand, don't have to be back at work until the 5th. So we're trying to stay open to plan B (which won't get us there by Christmas Day, but whatever). 

I'll try and update more when things play out. If we end up with plan B it will mean quite the adventure for Mark and me, but we seen to have a knack for running into adventurous travel situations.

Our Snowy Adventure #1

Yesterday we woke up to lots of snow. It kept snowing. And snowing. And snowing. In the morning we had a nice breakfast and drank coffee while watching a movie and then decided to brave the weather and walk to Bridgeport (about 3.3 miles away) and take the bus back. I was going to suggest that we take the bus there too but Mark wanted the exercise. Since I had walked to Barb's twice this week and to our house once, figured it was more than doable. 


We were the only ones to make tracks in the snow part of the way. At least the most recent layer. By the time we got there we were questioning our decision because we were cold and hadn't seen a bus the entire time. But since we were there we opted to move forward with the movie. 

7 Pounds was good! Sad, but good. 

We got out a little before 4 and headed straight for the bus stop where we got the stop ID and called to find out where the bus was at, only 5.5 miles away. An hour later we were still waiting and called like the 10th time to get the status and it was 3.3 miles away!! The last time it had only been 1.2 miles away!! We were starting to wonder what on earth to do and why the bus suddenly back-tracked when we saw it coming around the corner. 

By that time we were really chilly! It hadn't stopped snowing the entire day!! Our toes were numb, our legs were cold, and we weren't even sure where this bus was taking us. After the bus died at 2-3 different stops, we got to the transit center, and were considerably warmer. It was about a mile from the house and we decided to just walk the rest of the way. We actually stayed pretty warm and made it home just fine. The hot shower and hot potato soup was the perfect end to our adventure. Actually, going to bed at 9 because we were so tired from our excursion (it's hard to walk in 1 foot of powder!) may have been the perfect end. 

On to snowy adventure #2, driving to Montana!!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Why we are at Barb's

So, I've had a few questions about why we are at Barb's. I was reminded of the reason just a few minutes ago when I heard a Mustang on the street and as I looked out the window and saw a car just like mine trying to get out and then back into their garage and barely got anywhere, slipping and sliding. 


That's why we're at Barb's. There is a more direct bus route to and from Mark's work (which he's used every day) and the potential to car pool with a 2 wheel drive car. She also likes the company and it's fun to hangout sometimes. My car is crappy in this weather, a joke really and I'd prefer not to put Simone in risk of getting messed up. Yes, it's the downfall of having your only car be a highly impractical rear-wheel-drive-wide-tired Mustang! Dad warmed me of that and I decided to move forward anyway.

Today Mark and I are moving back home. He already left for the bus and Barb and I are packing up stuff to head out. I have to pack all Mark's and my stuff from the past 5 days. We're heading into church so I can catch up on some work and help with Food & Toy. Mark and I will take Barb's car home (she's staying the night with friends) and we'll probably just hang at home for the weekend as the weather is predicted to keep up... it's snowing right now. 

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Snow Days

I have to say, I think it's cool that I get snow days as an adult. Technically I never got them as a kid since we were homeschooled. But my mom was merciful sometimes and gave them to us after a big storm. In Wolf Point we got some wicked storms! Temps reached -40 with wind chill and when we'd go outside during the middle of the blizzard to check out what was happening we had to completely cover all skin. We didn't go out alone, dad went with us, and the dog. I can't believe our dog could survive that! Although if I remember correctly, she was always running and jumping around. She really seemed to love it!! She used to get ice balls in her paws and stop walking and try and bite them out but would always let us help her out by pulling them out. 


So far this week I've had 3 snow days. Although technically I wouldn't have been working today. I'm pleased at how productive I've been! Monday we packed 2 days worth of clothes into backpacks and hiked the 3.5 miles to Barb's, yesterday we went into work for half a day (hitched a ride with our friend Ken Mulder) and then a stop at the crowded grocery store and today Barb and I saw Mark off to catch the bus and headed out on our own adventure to walk from her house to my house and back. It's about 3.5 miles each way. 

We decided to go out earlier since the weather wasn't too bad yet. The walk went fine! Took a while, but otherwise was uneventful (except for seeing a car hit the curb when sliding around a turn). It's not an easy adventure, especially with ice covered sidewalks. There are significant hills, but they didn't kill us. 

When we got to my house it was a mild 43 degrees. yikes!! I left the heat on 50 to keep anything from getting messed up and grabbed another day's worth of clothes and a few items we forgot or wanted, warmed up some of our clothes in the dryer and in front of the fire and put on warmer pants under my jeans and a new fleece coat and headed back. I was a little bummed our Netflix hadn't arrived, but oh well.

It had started to snow again, which actually made the walk easier then on the way there because of the snow on top of the ice, which allowed for better traction. We stopped at the grocery store for a few items but were surprised that the way back seemed almost easier.

We arrived home in time for lunch and noticed the weather quickly turn. It actually started to snow part way back, but the wind picked up after we were safely home. 

After a bit of lunch and catch up time with email, I made some calls, worked on some work items and am going to move my party in front of the fire before starting on the second batch of cookies for Food & Toy drive. Figured might as well make good use of the time at home by baking for a good cause! We are having potato soup for dinner and I have to admit, I'm excited about that!!

The only bummer part of this snow day business is I can't get much (or hardly) any work done remotely!! I was glad for time in the office yesterday to gather some files to work on creating cue sheets, but since so much of what I do is making copies and other normal office flow, there just isn't much to work on from home. 

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Concert Pictures

I'm still waiting to get the one of me with two of the ladies I work with at the concerts and Michael W Smith. But here are some others.


Michael on the piano and the backup singers with melinda in the middle.

Melinda singing with Michael in the background.

This was right after the show. I got tickets for Bruce, Barb, Ken and Sharon. I like this picture because you can also see how the stage was setup. The drapes were Rolling Hills', which looked fantastic!

I wanted to introduce Sharon to Melinda Doolittle since she also enjoyed watching her on American Idol. Sharon stuck around long enough that we snuck in at the end of the line to have her sign things and get a picture. 


Evening In December Pictures

Saturday the 5th I was privileged to host 7 friends at the Evening In December event. It was a blast! Here are pictures of how I set my table and who came.




These are my new Christmas dishes ;)

These are some little cakes I made with white chocolate drizzled on top with crumbled candy cane.

Me and my cousin Jenna.

Holly, Rose and Bethany. I work with Bethany and Rose's husbands and Holly's husband-to-be.

Raychel, Tracy, and Trisha. 

Saturday, December 13, 2008

My 2 days in another world


Thursday and Friday I worked the Michael W Smith and Melinda Doolittle shows at Rolling Hills. It was awesome!! 


It all started Thursday when I picked up a 15 passenger rental van at the airport and drove to the church. By 11am I was driving one of the crew, Clay, to get chains for his equipment truck and then over to the hotel. I had time to kill before my next pick-up so we grabbed coffee at Starbucks at Pioneer Square. 

At 11:45 I picked up Kelley (Melinda's assistant, friend and one of the back-up singers) and headed to the airport to pick-up Melinda. As Kelley was waiving her down, I sat there thinking, "I can't believe I'm about to pick-up Melinda Doolittle!!"

We picked her up and headed to the church. They were both VERY nice!! And it was fun visiting with them a little. We got to the church and I got to sit with them and some of the other crew while eating a late lunch. I sat next to George Huff (sp?) who was on American Idol a season I didn't watch so I had no idea who he was and tried to make conversation by asking, "what do you do?" or something like that and later felt a bit silly when I found out who he was.

Oh, and in the craziness of the day I had left my purse at Starbucks!! Yikes!! I realized after I got back to the church and called over there and someone had turned it in and Clay was nice enough to go get it for me (even though it meant he had to carry a purse a couple blocks). Crazy!!

Things got underway with rehearsals and then box office opened and then doors opened and the show started. I ran out at 9 to pick-up the bus drivers from the hotel and then got back and was privileged to tag along when the promoter took almost the entire group to a nice dessert near the hotel. That was cool!! But I didn't get into bed until after 1:30!!

Yesterday morning I picked up Kelley and Melinda at the hotel at 9:20 and took them to a radio interview, which they were nice about letting me tag along to (I felt like entourage ;). It was cool to see how it all worked. They taped it to edit and air later, which I was able to catch later in the day. Then I drove them by Borders to pick up a book.

After I dropped them off at the hotel I killed 45 minutes by grabbing a quick bite at the Nordstrom cafe. Then I picked up Melinda, Kelley, and Michael W Smith to take them to the Ronald McDonald house and I GOT LOST!!! Talk about pressure! I felt so bad but eventually got them there. But not after taking a couple sudden u-turns across 4 lanes of traffic in a big van. Not sure I made the best first impression. After I dropped them off I took the time to make sure I knew how to get back to the hotel, which I'm glad to say I did without getting lost. 

I made another trip with Clay to a different hotel closer to the venue and one with bus drivers before making a run for bus stock (food) before the show and got to see the inside of the crew bus helping put the food in there. I was impressed with how clean it was. 

Last night there a couple more pick-ups and I got to sit in on part of the show and both nights I helped with the meet & greet line, which I enjoy. The entire thing was really cool!! 

During the intermission of last night's show I passed Melinda's dressing room and she asked me to come in for a second and showed me a huge bouquet of flowers that a fan gave her and told me she wanted me to have them (that was when I took the picture that's posted). So now I have a huge, beautiful, and wonderfully smelling bouquet of flowers on my coffee table. 

By the time I did the last run to pick-up the second bus driver last night, things were almost completely wrapped up at the church so I said a few good byes and then headed back to the airport to drop the van I had bonded so nicely with over the past 36 hours. 

I just finished cleaning my kitchen and am about to head to bed, with Mark!! Finally!! He went to bed about 20 minutes ago because it's like 4am his time and he really hasn't slept. He was gracious enough to stay awake through my work Christmas party. I have 1 or 2 more pictures to post when I get them. It was a crazy fun 2 days, but am glad to be slightly more back to normal. Although I love working those shows, the coolness of being around the artists is still very novel. By the way, the show was fantastic!! Both Michael W and Melinda really rocked it! And it was really neat to get to know her and will probably be one of the firsts to purchase her new album when it's realized February 3rd.

And that's all I have to say.


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

life

I've written like 2 blogs this week but haven't felt like any of them are worth posting. Right now I feel pretty bummed because Mark told me today that his trip is probably getting extended. Not sure how long but sounded like they would practically need a miracle tomorrow and even then wouldn't come home until Saturday.

Everything I write seems so dramatic and silly. But I will say that life without Mark just feels so far off that I struggle. It's hard to do normal daily life without him around and if that's dramatic and silly, then I'm happy to admit that I'm that way.

There are things happening in my life but it seems to take all I have in a day to look at God and plow through. So I'll try and update more when my better half comes back and I can feel whole enough to look past this current solo status.

I remember my mom once telling me that in marriage you can feel more complete but you can also feel more lonely. Although my husband is returning and our marriage is wonderful, having him away makes me feel more lonely than before (not to discount those of you who live every day that way... I'm just saying, this is how I feel in the moment). It's like getting a glimpse of how great it can be and then having it taken away. But fortunate for me the taken away part is only temporary and I'm trying to keep focused on the light at the end of the tunnel!

Friday, December 5, 2008

A day in the life part 2

I can't remember exactly where I left off, but I think it was when I was upstairs and had just finished the bathroom. So here's how the rest of the day played out:

3:00 put cleaning supplies away, started bath mats in the washer, put laptop and stereo back downstairs and vacuumed the entire house. I hate vacuuming more then any other task, EVER, so was glad when that part was over. 
3:30ish got cake batter ready to bake and the oven on, took a break to write some email then put the cake batter in the molds and put them in the oven then started the gingersnap cookie dough... took my time with this as I wasn't going to be able to bake them for a while. 
4:15 baked a couple more molds of the little cakes and got the cookie dough mixed up. Also put Elf on the tv. 

Honestly, this is about as much as I remember. There was some running around getting all the stuff out for my Evening In December table for tomorrow night and getting changed (never got out of my workout clothes) into my pjs to head over to Barb's for the evening and night. I'm about to load up the car and head to Barb's where I'll finish baking the cookies and enjoy dinner and maybe a movie.

Hope you have a great weekend!

A day in the life

What would YOU do with every Friday off? Well, here's what I did today. (By the way, I'm stealing this idea from a previous blog of Jocelyn's) 


Next Friday will be different since I'm working the Michael W Smith concert, but today, this is it:
7:00am roll out of bed, brush teeth and throw on gym clothes
7:35 meet Trisha at the gym and do 35ish minutes on the treadmill walking/running and 40 minutes of circuit resistance training. 
9:00 pull into Panera for a bagel, coffee and time to work on my Bible Study
9:45 head out to run errands, the grocery store for a short list, the bank to get cash, the post office to get stamps for Christmas cards, Value Village for ugly sweaters for Mark and I for a Christmas party next week.
11:15 get home and empty car and hop on the computer for an hour to catch up with email and create my playlist for cleaning.
12:30 have lunch and sit for another 45 minutes
1:25 drag myself up from the couch to start cleaning, get setup with music upstairs (have my computer rigged to play through the Bose since Mark has the ipod), load all the cleaning supplies upstairs and get started on 1 of 3 bathrooms.
2:20 take a quick sustenance break before starting on bathroom number 2 and decide that bathroom number 3 can probably wait a couple weeks.
2:40 get a call and write a quick email
2:50 finish bathroom and do a couple more emails and write this blog

And that as far as I've gotten so far. The plan right now is to put the cleaning supplies away, drag my stereo contraption back downstairs, vacuum the entire house and then get started on baking some desserts before heading to Barb's around 5ish.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

God?

I often forget about God during the day, week, month and year.

Right now I'm sitting at my desk feeling odd. It could be the crash after my morning coffee, the rest after helping plan our staff Christmas party lunch, the growing shopping list I have for my short evening, the fact that my husband is gone, the possible lost opportunity I haven't gotten the final word on or other things swirling in my heart and mind.

Whatever it is, I forget that God's in the middle. He's aware of and wants to interact with my emotions from something as simply as a caffeine high and low. He's aware of my growing shopping list and my desire to be a wise steward of my time and money. He knows my husband is gone and it can make me sad and he's thankful for the love we share that allows us to miss each other so much when we are apart. He knows about the opportunities present in my life and has a perfect plan for how they play out (even when they don't make sense to me). He is in the middle of my heart and therefore is surrounded by what's inside there swirling around. He gave me the desires, knows the fears and loves how they make me remember him.

Psalm 84:11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

I've been realizing lately how true these statements are. "In the moment" I don't want to believe them. I feel like they have to be fake because if they were true, wouldn't I feel better?? But it's so not about what I feel like believing. It's about what I choose to believe and what I choose to believe can change how I feel. So I want to make good choices. But I hate making good choices because something in me likes feeling hopeless. Because being hopeful means I am making the hard choice to believe what God says is true and not just words on a page (or on the screen) and if what he says is true then you can't help but have hope because if he really won't withhold good things from me, wants to give me hope and a future, and does comfort me in my troubles, then where is the problem with how my life is at this moment??

Ah, the age old battle! For some reason it always comes down to whether or not I'm elevating my idols and trusting God. Idols and trust, trust and idols. That's always what it's about for me.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

1 down, 11 to go

I have 1 day of Mark being away down and 11 more to go! So far so good. I almost started crying when I left him a voicemail (that of course he won't get until he's home, but gives me a verbal outlet for the things I'm feeling) last night on the way home while chowing on a package of Cracker Jacks I picked up at the gas station when filling up the Mustang. The cracker jacks were a mistake, I'll be the first to admit that.

As I pulled off our exit, trying to warm my cold hands, I remembered something Mark had said on the way to the airport yesterday. He was holding my hands, trying to warm them up (a regular occurence), and said, "what will you do without your delux gloves that you can talk to, curl up to in bed with, and who takes care of you?" We have a joke about how he's my swiss army knife of hand warmers because he can do all those other things as well as warm my hands and cold toes at night ;) The memory made me smile.

Being home without him wasn't as bad as I feared, which was nice. Not that it was good or that I enjoyed any part of being alone, but it could have been a lot worse. I think you get used to being alone with your own thoughts. Normally I have a way of sharing them, but alone isn't the end of the world. Again, I have no idea how you single peeps do it!!! I think God gives single people extra grace. To not have your own person to go through life with and process things with and share things with is/was hard. But I never lived alone. I think that takes an extra measure of courage. It's hard to not have a designated person that is yours for the journey. I admire those of you walking it alone. Most of the time it's not by choice so to do it, do it well, and not loose heart in the process is pretty cool. It's definitely harder, although without some of the relational drama. So WAY TO GO all you God-loving single people!!! I admire you. And am thankful I only have to live it temporarily.

Monday, December 1, 2008

My holiday damper

Thanksgiving with Mark's family was great! It was wonderful to be with everyone and in traditional form, it was exceptionally relaxing!! I don't think Mark and I left the house once from when we arrived until we left, except to take a walk on Thanksgiving day. Friday was pretty fun because we never got out of our pjs and watched the entire Bourne Identity trilogy. I also started and finished a book that Mark's mom suggested (and brought another one home with me). We only took about 3 pictures the entire time, which I'm sure I'll regret later. But otherwiser it was wonderful to hangout and catch up with everyone and bond over the weekend.

But today I'm feeling really sad because Mark flew out 2 hours ago, for 12 days in Germany. He feels good about the potential he might come home earlier, but either way he's gone. I feel like there is a lot happening while he's gone, in addition to the holiday season, which we both really enjoy. It makes me not feel much like decorating since I probably won't spend tons of time at home while he's gone and when he comes home we only have a little over a week before we head to MT for Christmas.

The time right before he leaves it always bitter sweet because you love that you are still together but there's this anticipation of the time apart. I am always a tiny bit relieved when the separation has started and the count down to when he comes home has started. But it's really sad to be apart!! I start thinking about how he won't be next to me in bed, he won't be with me to get ready in the mornings, he won't be there to tease me about silly things and smile at me and laugh at me in the car when I try and sing. He won't be there for me to try and feed or pick up from work or drop off at work or take care of. It's just me.

Those of you who are already single will, I assume, say, "that is nothing! Try living every day like that!" So I'm not down playing anyone else's life. This time often makes me think of Barb or my email friend Addie, who once had it good and now don't. But it sort of doesn't make me feel much better because Mark still won't be there when I get home or be simply a phone call away or just down the road at his work.

So with the strange morning spent dropping him off and breakfast together and now at work with a weird 2 weeks ahead of me and trying to wrap my brain around work after the holiday break, I'm just feeling very off today. I'm always a bit scared to see how I'll feel walking into our place alone for the first time after he's gone and wondering if I'll manage okay or burst into tears and if I'll like being at our place because it makes him feel not so far away or if I'll hate it because it's a huge reminder of the fact that he's gone. This is his 5 trip away since we have been married and I don't like it any more now than the first one.

On a side note, I decided not to paint. I still want my downstairs painted but I have too many other things I need to get done that are much higher priority and honestly, don't have the $100+ it would take for the paint and supplies. So, that project will have to wait for another time!

I'm sure I will think on the bright side and try and focus on the fun things happening over the next 2 weeks, but for right now it just seems super sad and I fight off tears if I think about it and dread going home. I think I'll end up Barb's place most nights.