It's the new year, fresh start, and all that jazz. So I thought I'd do an "honest" post on how I'm feeling about the God part of my life.
Since being married I decided to put most of the rest of my life aside to focus on setting up a good foundation with my new husband. So far so good! We've had a fantastic time learning to play house together, getting into routines, and just being with one another doing the day-to-day.
Setting other things aside meant dropping ministry. It was convenient timing as the students I'd been hanging with graduated last summer. So the timing was natural. That doesn't mean I haven't kept up with them a little, I saw some of them during Christmas break and we share notes during the school year.
Mark and I have continued to go to church and other activities church related or otherwise, but nothing too committed. We do plan to get into ministry but aren't sure the appropriate timing.
Mark and I pray together almost every night and I still do a couple lunch dates a week with God at Starbucks (although I missed quite a few during the holidays).
But my spiritual life seems to passionless, unmotivated, without much depth.
I think the adjustment from a high dependence on God being in ministry and as a single woman, dating, and then engaged, I miss those desperate times when it's just you and God. I guess this is what they mean when they talk about marriage being distracting.
As I've never been at this stage of life before, where as the single stuff I was beginning to master, I have no idea what it's supposed to look like. I know that our relationship with God will eb and flow. Partly because of life or circumstances or whatever, but I feel like I'm ready for some excitement and other than going out and creating drama myself, I don't think that's the answer. Instead, I think I'm supposed to sit down, open my Bible, and focus on connecting with God during THIS stage of my life. He will bring the excitement and/or drama he wants for my life (if any) when the time is right.
It's real different to learn to depend on God during the good times. I only knew God during a life I didn't want (a.k.a. single).
Friday, January 4, 2008
About God
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 thoughts from other people:
Hey, wow! I love the new look of the site. I look fat though. Queever.
Maybe it's time with Mark's okayness to sit regularly under a older, married mentor you can trust to guide through what a relationship with God as a married woman looks like?
Reading your post reminded me of something we covered in Bible Study a few weeks ago. Pardon me while I plagiarize Beth Moore for a couple of paragraphs:
"Elijah had grown accustomed to seeing God in the midst of magnificence. He had seen God in such miraculous circumstances that he missed Him as the joy in the midst of the mundane. He looked for God in the wind, the earthquake, and the fire, but he did onto find Him there. I am convinced the most intimate times with God will be listening to his gentle whispers. It is there that we will find true [joy].
"Please carefully consider this point with me: rarely are you more at risk for losing your joy whan you have just experienced a spiritual "high." When God miraculously spares a life...when he supernaturally intervenes to meet your needs...when you've just experienced a revival or retreat... any time you've just been on Mt. Carmel standing firm against the enemy, you're sitting in a dangerous place-ripe for a fall...Pray to enjoy those marvelous times, but never more than you enjoy his sweet whisper when you are all alone." (In reference to I Kings 18-19)
i really like the comment above - because i'm with you - learning to balance the two most important relationships in my life hasn't been easy and I haven't learned it yet. Thanks for being honest. It helps to know others are going through the same struggles I am.
Post a Comment