I believe I'm having a little mini identity crisis right now in my life. I think that always happens with change, especially some unwanted change. Although I'm used to the idea of the change now, so am not fighting it. But it's never easy to leave a job/position, even when you made the choice, much less when you didn't. I find myself exceptionally unmotivated while at work lately and trying my hardest to push through. Mark has been laughing at me this week as I call him around 4 asking if he'll be ready to leave right at 5 (we never leave at 5).
It's also difficult to assess exactly what you need to get done before you leave when (ideally) your tasks will be simply be handed off. I'm trying to work ahead a little every day and was behind enough that I still need to catch up. I might not find out who I'm passing off to until next week. Not much time to bring someone up to speed. Although I'm not really sure how to bring someone up to speed anyway. It should be fine.
It's difficult to try and detach from a job you created. Once I start detaching I'm ready to leave. So the next 9ish days will be hard. Although I'm also driven by a desire to finish well, but lets just say that when we leave for our trip to MT, I will be VERY ready for a week off! Timing sure worked out well to finish one job, take a week vacation and then start a new one.
So back to the identity crisis. Since I'm leaving a full-time job and moving to a part-time job it really changes your thoughts about your job/role as it's not longer in the "career" category. But I'm not exactly trading it for something else big so feel like I might flounder for a bit as I seek God and just live my little puttering life for a while. I have no doubt I will stay busy, as that's never been my problem. I tend to fill up my time before it's even available and only accomplish 1/4 of what I had aspired to. Filling my time helps me not think about how it's an awkward time. It's not that I had my identity wrapped up in my job, but you tend to think of yourself by what you do. I was an event coordinator and now... what am I? Even if I say I'm what my part-time title is, it's only part-time, so what am I the rest of the time? Like I said, awkward time.
But in all of this I'm thankful for the roles I have that are NOT changing, like child of God, wife, daughter, sister, niece, sister-in-law, friend, etc.
I know I haven't posted a pic in a while (like I said, I'm a bit off my game in life right now), here's one I took with my phone this morning. This is a graphic description of how I'm feeling right now in life ;) 
6 thoughts from other people:
Sorry about the mini identity crisis you are going through! You should post your craiglist thing on your blog. Spread the word around more. It must be stressful not knowing where are your hard work is going to end up and in whose hands. But find comfort in knowing ultimately it is in God's hands.
You helped me thru the biggest crisis in my life- my identity crisis at Sunset. What can I do for you? I wish I lived closer. I remember one time I was crying on the phone to you and you just showed up at my house. I think you took me to Red Robin. What an amazing friend! I will keep my ears open for odd jobs. If I hear of one, I'll let you know. I think you're rad. Maybe your dream is just around the corner, the corner is just so tight you can't see it yet. Talk to you soon. Love u.
Have kids!
...wait, I'm not helping am I? LOL
hey carrie,
i know what you mean about filling your time to keep your thoughts occupied. i have done that my whole life, but this summer have been called to take some still times intentionally to be with myself, and with God of course. so i know this is a difficult stage, but maybe you can take advantage of some quietness in your life.
you're in my prayers.
jenny
You might be experiencing some uncertainties about your current or next role in life, but there's no crisis with your identity. Ultimately, you are and always will be a child of God. And that's the only identity that really matters.
I can't believe how long I go between reading your blog and how that's possible when I enjoy reading it so much. I laughed so hard when I saw that picture and feel EXACTLY the same way. Hah! I'm thinking I will start updating my blog again now that all my time won't be spent studying now, however I have to tread lightly since all my former coworkers read it. The urge to write a tell all post to give them the REAL story is overwhelming. ;) Love you!
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