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Friday, February 15, 2008

Laying low

I think that's what I'm doing, laying low. And was reminded of WHY when just now reading friend's blogs on Valentine's Day. I was glad to work that day and evening as my husband is still gone. I miss him more every day and would prefer not to think about "real" life, so am absorbed in my little world of working my new wonderful job, sleeping at Barb's, spending (almost) as little time at our apartment as possible and looking forward to when I work tomorrow, Sunday, head to the beach for Sunday night and then fly out for 4 days early Tuesday morning. Mark might come home while I'm gone, but in case he doesn't, it will be nice to be away from the little things that remind me he's not with me. It's tough to be the one who stays at home.

This time I have done better at figuring out ways to better manage life without my favorite person. Here are some things I'm doing:
- starting a new job/schedule where life no longer seems normal like it did before
- sleeping at Barb's every night so I'm not reminded of how Mark isn't sleeping next to me
- sleeping at Barb's also helps me feel less alone as I'm not going to bed and getting up solo
- planning my days with many activities
- planning my time with friends who know me well and don't mind if I unload on them
- try not to sniff his t-shirt which reminds me of his perfect and wonderful smell
- and finally, talk to Mark almost once a day for at least a few minutes!! He's doing okay, working SUPER long days and they haven't found the exact resolution, but are making progress.
- and I bought shoes

Right now life with him in my every day life seems too good to be true!! I'm trying not to get hopeful that he'll be here when I return late next Friday night and I'm trying not to think about how that is still a week away!!

Okay, I promise I'll write something of more value another day but right now this is what absorbs my thoughts.

3 thoughts from other people:

Anonymous said...

Aw, honey, you don't need to be concerned about the subject of a post. What's a blog for if you can't vent? In fact, I'd say a blog is a better place to vent than talking to someone. And depending on how you feel, the post can just stay private.

It sounds like you are doing a good job of getting through this time without Mark. But why not sleep in his t-shirt? That would almost be as good as having him there.

Jenna said...

I'm a fan of the sleeping in the tshirt idea too!

Stephanie said...

Love your "realness", Carrie!! I appreciate that about you!

Hang in there... sounds like you are keeping yourself busy while Mark is gone!!

BYW... I saw you at church this am.. LOVE the new hair color (it might not be so new, but its the first I have seen it!)!!

XO