I'm laying on the bed in Mark's room at his parent's house in Whidbey Island. I'm on my stomach, which is still fun because for 8 months or so, I couldn't. I just finished watching Julie & Julia while rocking a fussy baby to sleep. Today included an early gift from my wonderful husband of getting up with Millie as needed last night so I could sleep. SO wonderful!! Also only the 2nd outing with my little family to a local Bistro where we enjoyed a casual lunch and jumped our first "feeding in public" hurdle with Millie. Tons of wonderful well wishes from friends and family. And of course a fantastic dinner and cake from Mark's family, as well as some wonderful gifts! All in all, a very fun birthday.
Today I couldn't help thinking back on last year's birthday. I have a terrible memory but remember clearly some moments from last December 30th. We were staying at my brother's place in Montana enjoying a lazy New Year's which included movies, video games, (for me) reading the Twilight series, sleeping in late and lots of food. For my birthday my brother made breakfast burritos and we later celebrated that night with dinner and gifts at my parent's house. But that afternoon I remember thinking how I was a little sad because the one thing I truly wanted, I didn't get... a baby. Okay, it sounds cheesy as I write it, but it's really true. By that point we had been trying for 5 months and nothing was happening and I was SO bummed and beginning to wonder if something was wrong and if it would ever happen but desperately trying to trust God.
So this year even though there wasn't an extravagant party or something "big", I found myself constantly being thankful that this year we are also celebrating the birth of our little Millie, who is now 1 month old!! I'm thankful that God had a plan for our family to include her and that it didn't take more time and effort than it did (because if you think about it, then we wouldn't have had Millie, it would have been a different baby and I wouldn't trade this one for the world!!)
It's funny how life just hasn't turned out nearly like what I imagined. It contains many of the pieces I had hoped for but not at all in the timing I would have wanted them. But it's true (and I need to remember this later) that it really is "better" this way. God's design and timing for our lives, no matter how much I doubt it, truly is better. Of course, I can say that easily now because I have everything I want... a wonderful handsome husband, a beautiful baby girl, a cute little condo, vehicles that get us where we need to go, just enough money to live on, and loving families that are eager to love on and meet our new daughter.
Now I'm off to get ready for bed and squeeze in an hour or so of sleep before the little one wakes up again. Maybe I'll get lucky and this will be a 3-4 hour sleeping time instead of just a 2 hour. And if I'm REALLY lucky, she'll go right back to sleep after she eats next and stay asleep, even after I lay her down in her bassinet.
And if there is any part of this that doesn't make sense, words left out, or the wrong word anywhere, it's because I'm so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open!!
Happy 29th year to me and I'm looking forward to seeing what I'll be reflecting back on when I celebrate my 30th!!
2 thoughts from other people:
Happy birthday! I'm glad you had a good one, even with all the adjustments. Your perspective on "last year" and God's timing is a good reminder to me. Thanks.
I remember your birth well -- and how much I loved you, immediately!! I too am thankful for God's timing, you were a piece of that.
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