Yet again, I find myself NOT choosing to blog... for a variety of reasons. Sometimes I simply forget, other times I just don't have time, or I'm left with a choice between another more important task and blogging. I can't seem to find much balance with anything these days. I remember a time in my life where balance was a word frequently put in front of me. By the end of that season, it became clear that balance was not the thing I should be striving towards. We'll never fully find a balance, so if you can't beat them, join them! However, in my flailing, I forget to reach out for God instead of other things. I still have not found the perfect nitch for God in my new schedule. I want to make a nitch no matter how perfect/imperfect it may be, but I'm having trouble. I guess that was the good thing about my previous schedule, I could count on those regular God dates.
At work we were gearing up for Easter. I ended up with almost a dual role and then in the end, took the day off to be with my family. And we had a terrific visit!!
And just when I think things will relax a little and perhaps I could start to feel a tiny bit of normalicy in my life, we find out that Mark is being sent back to Taiwan. He leaves Sunday. I'm in a flurry trying to get myself scheduled for as much as possible while he's away so I don't have to spend my time thinking about how much I miss him. And am trying not to be drowned in those feelings before he leaves so I can enjoy the time he's still here.
Even though Barb will be gone for another week after Mark leaves, I still plan to sleep at her place. I figured it's easier to stay in a bed that I'm not used to sharing with Mark, even if it will still be alone. And Monday I have plans to spend the entire day with my good friend Marla who recently moved to the area. We haven't seen each other for 1.5 years! I'm super excited about hanging out with her!!
I hope to post a few highlights from the family visit this weekend, along with pictures!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Life vs Blogging
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4 thoughts from other people:
Good for you trying to put first things first. I don't enjoy "flailing" either, but sometimes life just causes that to happen. When I get in that mode, I really need to just STOP, take a deep breath and make a list of what is on my plate (i'm a list girl), and remember to pray about it. The sooner I do that the better...
Sorry to hear Mark is leaving again, but sounds like you have figured out what works to keep it bearable :)
Blog when you can... don't worry about it if you can't!
XO
I'm glad you finally blogged again. I like getting your life updates. I'm sad to hear that Mark has to leave again - however that is super exciting that you get to hang out with an old friend.
I can appreciate the "flailing." It's like you are surrounded by a group of amorphous beings with name tags of all the tasks you still need to do. And all of them are crying out "Me! Me! Me!"
If I may suggest, pull out your planner and clear everything. Then schedule in two "dates" at the same time every day. The first one is for time with God, the second for time with Mark (even if it's only on the phone or texting). Then and only then schedule in everything else. And make sure that those two dates are never cancelled or rescheduled. Ever.
I suspect you will find that everything else will fall into place and instead of feeling like you're flailing about, you will find your "center" and be calm.
I can totally relate to the "flailing" feeling-always struggling, on and off, to have a daily quiet time, forgetting about it for a little bit, then getting back on the wagon.
I'm sorry Mark has to leave again, but I'm glad you're figuring out tools to use to work through it. Funny how marriage causes us to have to develop more tools like that!
I hope I get to meet Marla sometime-I've been hearing her name for years! Happy weekend! Good to read about your life again!
-Adri
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