Our Weekend - Rian's 3rd birthday

Last weekend Mark and I went up to Seattle to celebrate Rian's 3rd birthday. She told us how she had 3 parties, which was true! We had 2 for her, one on Saturday with friends and one on Sunday with the family. We also celebrated Jean's birthday (Mark's mom). It was a fun never-ending birthday weekend!!

Some Highlights

Me and Rian, hanging out on Saturday morning.

Me and Tegan. I LOVE my nieces!!

I think Uncle Mark does too.

Grandpa Jack with Tegan at Build-A-Bear for Rian's birthday party with her little friends.

Rian and all her friends. They were pretty cute picking out their bears!

Jean opening her gifts with Rian.

Birthday brownies ;)

Grandma jean reading the book to Rian that we got her for her birthday. Ruby Has Tea With The Queen (or something like that).

Twitter. What the??

So, I guess I'm now twittering. I never planned to. Always figured I shouldn't be writing things in the heat of the moment. Oh well. I'll just try and use good judgement ;)

I'm here and am now following anyone I know who has it. So if you do, let me know.

Mom and Christina on homepage

We have a copy of Today's Christian Woman, which features an article about Mom and Christina. Apparently, they are also on the homepage. Check it out! http://www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/

Home for the day

No, I'm not sick. I'm part-time. 

This week is really the first time I've felt part-time. Up until this week I had a Wednesday gig watching a friend's son but she had a new little baby and is off for a couple months. And even on my Friday's off I was sometimes working concerts or had the entire day scheduled with activities. Don't get me wrong, I have today scheduled, but it's with activities at home. I don't have to be anywhere until the gym at 6pm to workout with a friend. 

So I'm home. I originally had elaborate plans of plowing through housework by 12:30 and heading into the church office where I was going to work on details for events I'm doing on the side, but as I woke up this morning, a day at home seemed more fun. Actually not rushing seemed the most appealing, so I shifted my plans. 

It's weird to be home all day in the middle of the week and to be honest, I'm not loving it. Well, I love being home, but don't love that I don't have more work. It's a culture shift to go from full-time to part-time. And although I'm thankful we can survive financially this way, I don't feel like I have a good reason for not working full-time. And because it's just now hitting me how part-time I really am, it feels like a small identity crisis.  Which I feel I experience often these days.

This morning as Mark and I got up and I got ready for the day with him, like normal, he said to me, "why are you even up?" The question made me laugh. I feel a sense of responsibility to use my days off well. To be productive. Heck, I almost am more productive on my weekdays off then any other days of the week! I guess I feel that if I'm not able to bring in money at least I can care for our home and contribute in that way. It also helps free up my weekend days to relax more with Mark because we don't have to worry about cleaning or other things we don't want to do.

So as I sit in our big comfy chair, listening to Third Day, in front of a warm fire, emailing with family and finishing my Bible study, I ask, "God, what are you doing?" Then I sit back, put the computer away, pick up my journal and write this all out to God, resting in the truth that He has a great plan and taking joy in the realities of my life I wouldn't necessarily have chosen for myself. There is something very peaceful in knowing that God is in control and it's a great thing. And I feel the hope that Jeremiah 29:11 suggests. 

And then I go pee.

You know you are tight on cash when...

You determine that Netflix is cheaper then seeing/renting movies. But think it's dumb when you can't justify the money to see a movie and enjoy popcorn and soda.

You make dinner at home, even when you are starving after work, because you don't have enough cash to eat out and still make it last until the next pay day.

Having friends over, is wonderful, but you're disappointed it doesn't leave you enough left-overs for lunch the next day.

You eat a little less dinner so you can leave enough for lunch the next day.

Taking an extra trip across town means you may not have enough gas money to get you through the month (although this is slightly less of a problem now that prices have gone down).

You check craigslist every other day to see what new part-time job posts have been listed.

You update your resume every couple weeks to reflect the type of experience for the extra work you are trying to apply for.

You determine you aren't above any type of work, except you still prefer to stay away from cleaning houses, if possible (not because you are above it, you just hate it, a lot).

You try and view staying within your budget as a fun challenge to keep from getting frustrated at the things it seems you can't do.

You stop realizing there are things you can't do because you get used to living without them (I guess this is the good part).

Friday and Saturday nights are spent in your "comfy clothes" watching whatever Netflix brought in and eating your homemade dinner creation, snuggled up next to your favorite person, on your couch with a cozy blanket and thinking life isn't so bad ;)

God thoughts today... in the raw

This is how I felt earlier today. Now, I'm feeling better. Female hormones, you never know what they'll do next!! Hah! Although I have to say that even though this isn't how I'm feeling right now, this is how I feel sometimes. So although not true in the current moment, they are still true. Right now I'm thankful for the reprieve from feeling the way I write below ;) God must have already answered my prayer!!

Barb always says, "it's not about Joe Bob (or whoever I'm frustrated towards), it's more about you". This generally comes on the heels of me expressing how if so-and-so would just do ... then my life would go better. But she's right in that I'm reacting more out of myself then what the other person did/didn't do. If I didn't want it so much or act like I needed it, then why would I be so upset at not getting it?

I think the same thing happens with God. I get frustrated when he doesn't do something I want or does something I don't want, "God, if you had only done ... then my life would be better". The truth is not about God, which is what I want to convince myself of. It's just me throwing a temper-tantrum about why I didn't get the thing I seem to think I NEED.

James 4:1 "What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?" I'm having an internal fight over a desire that I'm not getting. It's as if my God-man and my flesh-man are duking it out and I get to will the winner. They spar, throwing punches back and forth, getting hit in the gut, the face, kicked in the shin and their arms bent, almost breaking under the pressure of their opponent.

Just as with Christ vs Satan, I know who the winner will be in the end. But for some reason it gives me a sense of cruel comfort (so I think) to allow my God-man to get beat up a little before allowing him to win battle. And just as Christ did for us, he allows himself to take it. I throw a frustrated word, an angry heart, a curse word and shaking fist in his direction, hateful thoughts before I drop to my knees.

Why is my reaction to hurt, good healthy and real hurt, anger and frustration? Wouldn't letting my God-man wrap his arms around me instead of pushing him into a fight with my flesh-man, be of more comfort?

Go for it God-man! Pummel my flesh-man and win this battle before I keep willing another match! Help me let you touch my heart and wrap your arms around me before I push away in anger for not giving me what I think I need when you have already given me everything I DO need Psalm 84:11 "For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless."

Perspective

Notes from yesterday's sermon. Sometimes these don't feel true. But I'm glad that even when something doesn't feel true, it can still be true. Isn't it great that we can take comfort in these truth statements?!!

God is at work in your life for good even if you resist him.

God is at work in your life for good if you surrender to him. SURRENDER!

Looking for ways God is at work in your life will change our perspective on life.