Our weekend

Our weekend was perfect!!

My sister is going to be in People Magazine

Yes, you read that correctly!

Back in January the Billings Gazette published the story of my sister's adoption. I guess several other newspapers picked it up from the AP/wire (or whatever you call it) and it sparked the interest of a journalist from People Magazine who my dad said was very persistent and willing to give in on a few conditions the family requested before allowing the article.

The photographer is showing up on Friday to take pictures of Christina and several friends getting ready for a ball (she's homeschooled and this is the closest thing to a prom she'll have), as well as pics of her life and family. The reporter is coming a few days later. Should be interesting!!

I LOVE People Magazine so am pretty excited to stock up on copies after the story comes out (which we have no idea when that will be).

Just something I want to say

I LOVE my husband!! So much!! I love spending time with him. I love thinking about our life together. I love thinking about the fun things we've done and great times we've had. I love looking at him from across the room and always doing a double take when I realize how amazingly good looking he is!!

On top of all that, he makes me feel like a million bucks! Couldn't be more patient, gracious and forgiving towards me.

He's my favorite person in the world!! I cherish even the small moments together, when he holds my hand, when he smiles at me, and when he kisses my lips.

One year and one week ago he asked me to marry him :)

Thank you God!!

Guilt? Or blissful ignorance?

Would I rather know and feel guilty next time? Or would I rather stay uninformed and possibly continue making poor decisions?

Quite a few years ago I decided to try something healthy and ordered a salad at Wendy's... instead of my usual burger. Although I shouldn't say "usual" as eating at Wendy's (or most fast food places) has never been "usual" for me. Anyway, I felt proud of myself for choosing salad. Right before tearing open the packet of salad dressing I glanced at the nutrition facts on the back and wanted to toss the packet like it was a big hairy spider suddenly found on my hand... it was HIGH on everything I didn't want!! I couldn't believe it and decided it was probably equivalent to the burger I wanted anyway and made a mental decision to choose what I wanted instead of what I thought was good for me. Which seemed to be equal anyway.

So occasionally the mood strikes me and I order a salad instead of something else. This happened again when I frequented Baja Fresh consistently a couple years ago. A friend and I went there almost weekly after working out. I would order the ultimo burrito and eat as much as I wanted to and save the little bit I couldn't eat for lunch the next day. Being curious one day I looked online at the nutrition facts and was MORTIFIED at what I was putting in my body. I started noticing how big the burrito was and felt nasty about putting that much burrito into my body (even though I knew I could stuff it in). So when I did order the burrito, I would only eat half and save the other half for the next day.

Then I discovered their salads. You load on the salsa mixed with sour cream and all those black beans and the crispy shell were like biting into a tasty piece of heaven! If I had to eat salad, this was the way I wanted it!! They did a little revamp of the salad part way through my 2+ year love-fest and I started getting to a point where I was polishing off almost the entire thing including the shell. Again, a too-easy search online told me I was putting a disgustingly high number of fat and calories into my body... from a salad??

Today it happened again. On the day after I get inspired by the finale of Biggest Looser and yet still choose to skip the gym (for my 4th time or something, just this week), I went to lunch with my husband at Quiznos and in a mental moment of wanting to "eat healthy", choose a salad over the all too enticing sandwiches. I resisted the urge to overload it with dressing (I LOVE dressing, but the fear of that Wendy's moment flashes through my head) and I settle for what is probably the equivalent of 2 servings anyway, which they conveniently put into one dish. I didn't finish the salad, gave one of the 4 slices of yummy flat bread to my husband and feel good about my decision.

In a moment of weakness I just checked the nutrition facts and discovered I would have been better off ordering a too-large-to-fit-in-my-stomach sub with all the fixings then a bear version of my yummy salad (not including the bread). I want to vomit, but choose not to because I'd just get hungry again sooner than normal.

I feel like the choice is either eat food I don't like, doesn't have enough sauce, and might as well be the cardboard box I have sitting in my kitchen waiting for a trip to the recycle bin, and get even more self-conscious when I don't loose any weight (after all that effort!!). Or eat the juicy burger, burrito with chips and cookie I really crave and at least enjoy the calories that will end up displayed on my hips!

Until I resolve this life-long issue, I'll choose to try and workout at least 3 days a week (and not kill myself when I choose something else instead), eat the burrito in moderation, try veggies when I have choice, and still enjoy the cookies! However it will come at the cost of having smaller thighs. I am constantly trying to determine which one I want more... smaller thighs or yummy food? Looks like I've pretty much always selected the latter ;)

Running on Sunday

I'm VERY excited that Mark should be coming home Friday!! This is what I was hoping for and definitely an answer to prayer!!

Sunday I run a half marathon with my running partner. It's my 7th. Which should be an accomplishment in and of itself but I realized last night when slugging out a pathetic 3 miles on the treadmill that I have expectations for how the race will go. My expectations are almost more like things I feel like I'm "entitled" to as a regular runner. However, I don't want to take the basic ability to run for granted so here are the misconceptions I plan to have the correct frame of mind about leading up to Sunday's race.

Wrong: The race will go well and I will feel good about how I ran.
Right: Be thankful for the ability to run and chalk this up as an opportunity to be healthy, get exercise, wear a t-shirt I earned, and spend time with my running partner and good friend.

Wrong: I suck at running and won't beat my time and feel frustrated I didn't train harder.
Right: Be thankful for the ability to run and that I'm out there at all and listen to what my body needs and not worry about the time and remember I trained well (although not as hard as possible, but that's okay) and feel good about the effort leading up to the race.

A couple months ago my mom and I talked abut how it's hard not to have too high of expectations for yourself in terms of running (it's our 3rd big year of training) and to really focus on just being thankful and doing the best you can. So that's what I need to do is not worry about beating my last time (although don't mind if I do), but just run as best I can do and just enjoy the experience (as much as you can when kicking your body through 13.2 miles).

More pictures from California drive

On the drive back we spent a night in Sacramento to hang with some family. This is my cousin Jesse's youngest song, so cute!

Cousin Becky, me and Barb.

Cousin's kids Tyler and Elijah. Very fun boys!!

California and bust

I wrote this Friday afternoon but had to rush out before posting...

I'm in California and considering how badly I had to pee by the time my flight landed, "bust" definitely felt like what I was about to do!!

When Mark said he was flying out of the country again, I struck a deal with Barb. We split the cost of the ticket and I fly to California to drive back with her. A win for both of us, she gets a driving buddy and I get regular human contact and distraction from the absence of my husband for a weekend :)

So here I am. Arrived around 10:30 this morning and had lunch, took a nap, picked up Katie from school, took pictures on the Mac and now am doing a quick glance online before we head to Target, go see Horton Hears A Who, and then meet up with Aunt Anita for dinner.